I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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