I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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