I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
