Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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