Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize