no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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