I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
