I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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