i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
OPIZZABONMYDICK
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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