Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
