At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
