Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
