he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
