Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
