where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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