I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
