If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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