Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
