Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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