I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
They took my balls.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
