In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
