I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
