her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize