Are we in a gay sports bar?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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