Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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