R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
