i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
