I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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