His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
