Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
