So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
