Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize