Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
