I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize