I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
