its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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