They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
