I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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