I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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