And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
