Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
