Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
