I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
foreskin is a definite game changer
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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