so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
