apparently the secret to your success is patron
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
