Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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