If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
