I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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