I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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