You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You're like the curious george of whores
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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