Me too!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
