I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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