nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
