Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
