One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize