I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize