Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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