Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
please come you make the beer taste better
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
