Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
there is puke in my bra ... again
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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