if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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