Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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